Crime Scene Kitchen was Too Flavorful

It’s the summertime, and that means it’s time for the broadcast networks to fill up their primetime slots with unscripted reality and game show content. It’s cheaper, and in these COVID times, easier to produce in a bubble. And because I’ve binged everything else, I found myself tuning in. 

This dessert does not appear in the show.
Source: imdb.com

Joel McHale brought his signature sarcasm to a new FOX show, hosting (and executive producing) Crime Scene Kitchen. If that title sounds like the height of gimmick to you, you’d be right. Here's how it works: Two mystery desserts are baked in the titular Kitchen each week, and teams of two are charged with using the clues they find there to identify and recreate them.

Like crumbs showing through the cracks of a hastily draped fondant, the ingredients that went into the recipe for Crime Scene Kitchen are clearly visible. Its format, style, and humor are sampled from other baking shows. 

The rounds are essentially a reinvention of the technical challenge from The Great British Bake Off (aka, The Great British Baking Show), wherein contestants are given ingredients and vague instructions and tasked to make the same dessert. The more glaring theft is CSK's “Showpiece” round, a clear rip off of Bake Off’s “Showstopper.” 

But not every dessert presented is a triumph. Because the teams occasionally get the clues very wrong, and also occasionally get it right, but do poorly, the show simultaneously tries to revel in the #fail like Nailed It!. 

Perhaps the subtlest of all CSK’s inspirations is the way it is stylized like a YouTube show. The production aspects of the show are lampshaded, as if to tell the audience, “we know you know how TV is made by now, so we’re all in on the joke, right?” This is largely thanks to host Joel McHale, who takes far too many opportunities to call for lighting cues and talk about how cool the set is. His joke calling the stand where the mystery dessert is revealed the “Confectionator 3000” should have died after its first telling, but no - it gets repeated every week.  The fact that one of the two judges, Yolanda Gampp, is (we’re repeatedly told) a Famous Youtube Pastry Chef is the frosting on this internet popularity cake.

The trouble is, none of these concepts complement each other. Every Bake-Off fan knows that the audience wants to see successes, not failures. And if we wanted to watch a YouTube show... well, we'd just watch YouTube. 

Gampp and her fellow judge, Michelin-starred chef Curtis Stone, make subjective judgments about which bakers win each challenge. On this show, being “Star Bake…” er, I mean, “Top Dessert Detective” doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the best baker, or even that you made the best dessert. It just means you got closest to the “mystery dessert.” And while many skills that reality competition contestants hone are not applicable in the real world, using clues in a meticulously staged kitchen to identify and reproduce a dessert seems particularly useless.

The final challenge of the finale episode threw the premise of the show in the trash, and let contestants build on a handful of ingredients to essentially make whatever sort of cake they wanted. Frustratingly, this new format quite obviously bent the competition in favor of the eventual winners. (The prize was $100,000, but also an engraved cake stand - now, where have I seen one of those?)

Curtis Stone, Yolanda Gampp, and Joel McHale
pose with guest judge Ken Jeong.
Source: facebook.com 

This wasn’t the only surprise format change. About half the episodes included a celebrity guest judge, for some reason. There was near constant reinvention what constitutes a “clue” in the kitchen. Mystery too hard in the first couple of episodes? Add something more obvious - a list of potluck items and a coordinating name on a coffee cup will make it simpler. The show failed to copy Bake Off's trick of having the contestants and judges wear the same outfits on multiple days of filming, so exposition edited in after the fact was obvious. All of this made the whole show feel like somewhat of a work in progress.  I wonder if any play testing occurred before the game began filming? I'd bet not.

Because the show is aimed at the casual summer viewer who happens to tune in, it spends precious time constantly reiterating the premise of the show. All this wasted time is probably why only two challenges fit in each episode, and why the slate of contestants had to be split into two groups for the first six episodes. Perhaps the makers of Crime Scene Kitchen will have perfected the recipe of the show before filming a second season? The trophy cake stand optimistically read: "Season 1 Crime Scene Kitchen Champions."

Superman & Lois and Viewers Like Me

The following will contain spoilers from the first 6 episodes of Superman & Lois. 

After only the first episode of the spring freshman show Superman and Lois had aired, The CW announced the show was renewed for a second season. Whether it was the high viewership ratings, what the producers had seen in the dailies, or just the network's historic success with DC franchise shows, I can't say. (The network has shown itself to be eager to renew.) But what I can say is that the pilot episode of this show was good. Not great, not the best I've ever seen, but compelling. 

I do not read or collect comic books, but Superman is my favorite superhero. I was a faithful viewer of two past television iterations of the character and his story: Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1993-1997), and Smallville (2001-2011). Plus, I'm one of what I'm sure is a relatively small subset of people who own a copy of the soundtrack to the short-lived Broadway musical It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman. So it was with this casual fandom and the memory of a handful of Superman movies as reference that I arrived at Superman & Lois. 

Promotional poster for Superman & Lois
Source: cwtv.com

Like Smallville, Superman & Lois is set in the town of Clark Kent’s childhood. But this is not the story of his adolescence; here, Clark (Tyler Hoechlin) and Lois (Elizabeth Tulloch) have returned to his hometown following Martha Kent's death to tend the family farm and raise their twin teenage sons. It's an untried premise for the character, at least on television. A big question hanging over the pilot is whether his boys - Jonathan and Jordan - will inherit Clark's super-abilities. (One does.) Clark must also strive for that unreachable work-life balance, made more difficult since his work is, well, saving the world. The series finds Lois in her classic reporter job, but not at the Daily Planet. Clark was laid off and Lois unceremoniously quit after wealthy business tycoon Morgan Edge bought the paper. She soon finds herself at the Smallville Gazette, with Edge as the primary target of her investigative journalism. 

The Kent Farm in Superman and Lois
Source: Arrowverse Fandom

The world of Superman & Lois is full of dark colors, muddy boots, and moody high schoolers. Even when the sun shines, the landscape of Smallville seems desolate. The single hallway we see at Smallville high is dimly lit. Even a scene set at the town's Harvest Festival is subdued; there is no blinking neon midway. The dark tone is also metaphorical. The town is economically depressed. Folks are out of work, we're told. And they've come to see wealthy business tycoon Morgan Edge and his plan to retrofit local mines as their way out. 

Superhero stories have been getting progressively darker in tone throughout my lifetime. I like humor, and I prefer the bright colors and wisecracking villains of earlier shows about Superman. But the era of "camp" in superhero media is long gone, and dark, satirical takes like The Boys are the future. So it comes as no surprise that Superman & Lois would look for that angle. The show proffers itself even darker storyline options with the introduction of a villain from an alternate universe: one "Captain Luthor." He seems to come from a timeline where Superman is evil and vindictive, more like The Boys' "Homelander." Consequently, this Luthor turns all his villainous energy toward our Earth-Prime Superman, building an armored suit and attacking power stations to lure the hero and learn how he operates. Between the otherworldly Luthor and earth-bound Edge, the foes of this show seem indomitable. Little room is left for quirky villains like a "Prankster" or a "Toyman." 

Because I have not watched other DC shows in the current CW lineup (with the exception of a few early episodes of Supergirl), I don't have a frame of reference for the villains or lore of this series. After it became clear that alternate realities/universes will play a significant role in the story, I had to look up whether the "Crisis on Infinite Earths" crossover was something I needed to know to understand Superman & Lois. Morgan Edge (who is a DC character, but not one with which I'm familiar) seemed at first to fill the Lex Luthor role in this series, but then the pilot ends with the reveal of Captain Luthor. 

All this left me wondering who this show was made for, and indeed, was it made for a viewer like me? Can I watch this series independent of the rest of the Arrowverse? Will I be constantly wondering what connections I might be missing? Superman is my favorite superhero because he is unreservedly good. He is not brooding or mercurial. He stands for truth and justice, and he always has. I think Hoechlin is actually very good casting, which is a stroke of luck since he was originally cast in the role in Supergirl. Hoechlin exudes the boy scout energy necessary for the character. Can I watch a dark take on my favorite bright superhero? Do I in actuality know too much, and not too little, about Superman to enjoy this show? 

The CW would not have renewed Superman & Lois if the network didn't believe it would have an audience. And I have been captivated enough to be a part of that audience for half a dozen episodes. But will I stick around through Season 2? When it returns this week, I'll tune in, and I guess I'll find out. 

Yes, Call her Kat, because she's NOT Miranda

The farcical British comedy series Miranda aired between 2009 and 2015 on the BBC. It was semi-autobiographical, based upon the life and standup persona of comedian Miranda Hart. It is very funny, very British, and very specifically suited to its creator/star. 

In January of 2021, the new sitcom Call Me Kat, a adaptation of Miranda, premiered on FOX starring Mayim Bialik. Both shows are about a single, business-owning woman in her thirties whose social awkwardness leads to the comedic situations of the genre. But while Miranda worked, Call Me Kat simply doesn't. I've analyzed two episodes of the American adaptation, comparing them to their source material, to try to figure out why.

In "Vacation" (Call Me Kat, S1E3) and "Holiday"(Miranda, S1E4), the titular character tells her friends and mother she's going overseas for a solo vacation, when in fact she's simply staying at a local hotel. Both "Therapy" (Call Me Kat, S1E4), and "Just Act Normal" (Miranda, S2E5), find Kat/Miranda and her mother at a psychiatrist's office. 

Changes to the storyline in both of these adaptations highlight some of the structural and tonal problems with Call Me Kat. Consider the inciting incidents and ultimate resolutions of the stories:

Miranda goes "on holiday" in her hometown because she has no desire or inclination to go anywhere else. "A night out for me is going into the garden, coming back, ahh, home at last!" Miranda tells the audience. She tells her friends she's going to Thailand to get them off her back. Kat checks into a hotel in her hometown because she chickens out of going on a free trip to Puerto Rico alone. “I got freaked out. It’s my mom’s fault," she tells her friend Max. The result is a Kat less self-possessed than Miranda, less confident in her own choices and the life she leads. Miranda brings awkwardness to situations because she's confidently strange, and that's presented to the audience through her little habits (e.g., singing or dancing in public for longer than anyone should, making socially inappropriate observations). Kat seems like a mostly normal person who occasionally does something odd like eat a massive plate of crab legs at a hotel buffet. She might declare that she is comfortable being herself, or that she is eccentric, but the story doesn't support it. 

Kat and Sheila. 
Source: telltaletv.com

The first 8 minutes of "Therapy" are spent in setup, with Kat fighting with and needling her mother (Swoosie Kurtz), who she then "jokes" she'd like to murder (!!!). It is this argument, and the suggestion of her friends, that lead Kat and her mother Sheila into therapy. The entirety of "Just Act Normal" takes place within the psychiatrist's office. We don't find out why Miranda and her mother Penny (Patricia Hodge), are in therapy until midway through the episode, when the two of them comically reveal the circumstances that led to this court-ordered appointment. The humorous back and forth between the two of them is the joke, in stark contrast to the bleak setup of Call Me Kat. In an even bleaker turn, the resolution to Kat and Sheila’s time on the couch is the discovery of their mutual depression over the death of Kat's father. (Where did this even come from? Miranda's father is very much alive, and his relationship with Penny is the source of many laughs!) Call Me Kat attempts to layer depth and sincerity atop a premise of absurdity. The show is so wrapped up in offering a Very Special Episode about therapy and antidepressants that the humor is lost altogether. And by the way, it is possible to make a defense of those things successfully in a comedy. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend did it repeatedly. But Call Me Kat fails in both humor and message. 

Miranda and Penny.
Source: bbc.co.uk

Miranda and Penny eventually bond not over a diagnosis, but their mutual annoyance with the psychiatrist. The dialogue doesn't need to tell us the two of them are alike because the episode has shown us that all the way through, via synchronous dancing and line delivery, and even in the recounting of the absurd ice cream van debacle that led them to the office in the first place. 

I mention the length of time spent on the setup because it affects a joke that is in both versions of the story.  The psychiatrist in each episode remains silent at the start of the scene. In "Just Act Normal," he speaks for the first time nearly 10 minutes into the episode, startling Miranda, causing her to spill coffee on her trousers, and subsequently turn a tablecloth into a sarong.  Kat and her mother don’t arrive at the psychiatrist’s office until the 8 minute mark, and the doctor speaks just 1 minute later. There is no comedic payoff to the joke, not only because the timing is truncated, but also because Kat’s mother simply says, “Oh, you can speak!” Not much of a punchline.

In both "Therapy" and "Vacation," the momentum of Kat's story is continually interrupted by the B stories  about the supporting cast. Secondary stories can be useful when they say, release or raise tension. But here they just interrupt the flow. It’s as if the show doesn’t trust the audience to live in the tension of a scene, wonder about anything, or wait longer than 60 seconds for an explanation. Or else the show distrusts its actors to hold the audience’s attention between planting and payoff. 

Further frustrating the use of the side characters is their poor connection to Kat herself. Two employees in her cafe can deliver a few one-liners, sure. But they are no replacement for Miranda's Stevie (Sarah Hadland), who is best friend and foil to Miranda. They play off one another in both dialogue and physical comedy and clearly inhabit the same world. It pains me to say a bad word about Swoosie Kurtz, but she does not work here. Sheila is stiff, overbearing, not funny, and not fun. Penny, by contrast, is "SUCH FUN." 

A few other things do get lost in translation in the adaptation. One is the breaking of the fourth wall that Miranda featured heavily. The asides to the audience work well in Miranda because of Hart's comedic timing and stand-up skills. She's speaking to the audience to entertain them. Kat is just kind of, providing exposition, maybe? The camera work and direction fail Bialik here, too. Miranda's asides are framed tight against her face; her acting alone doesn't need to distinguish these moments (though it could.) All Bialik does during these digressions is turn her head to face a camera (and her intonation and delivery doesn’t change.) 

Maddeningly, the creators of Call Me Kat seem to have attempted to recreate Miranda's family's poshness by making Kat's mother... friends with the Governor of Kentucky? By putting her in a ball gown? This is a massive translation error. The UK social strata cannot be replicated in a US sitcom and TV writers need to stop trying.

Miranda feels like a spiritual successor to I Love Lucy, with Hart excelling as a physical comedian.  I'll say for Bialik that she actually holds her own with the physical comedy, but because Call Me Kat lacks the absurdist tone and company of characters that Miranda has, those pratfalls are out of place. Instead, Call Me Kat rests on the boring premises and basic delivery of every dull sitcom you’ve ever forgotten about. The only positive thing I’ve left to say for Call Me Kat is that it inspired me to rewatch Miranda.

All Creatures Great and Small: "Andante"

After watching the first two episodes of the new Masterpiece series All Creatures Great and Small, you'd be forgiven for thinking that each episode will end happily for all the animals you encounter. The bucolic setting and guileless protagonist lend themselves to uplifting stories. But the life and work of a country veterinarian can be difficult and unpleasant, too. 

The series is based upon the book of the same name, a memoir by James Herriot, chronicles of his early years as a vet in Yorkshire in the mid 20th century. In the book's fifth chapter, Herriot must euthanize a horse who is suffering great pain and a slow death as a result of a torsion of the bowel. The young vet must then await confirmation of his diagnosis via a postmortem conducted by his boss, Siegfried Farnon. It is this chapter that is adapted into the third episode of the PBS series. 

James Herriot (Nicholas Ralph) examines a patient.
Source: pbs.com

The series's creators and writers deftly adapt the source material. The characters of Mrs. Hall (Anna Madeley) and Helen Alderson (Rachel Shenton) are bought forward to expand the main cast, and a romantic rivalry between James and Hugh Hulton (Matthew Lewis) for the affections of Helen is added. Herriot's accounts of his patients are lifelike on the page, and the series pulls a few of the vignettes from in the book into each episode, creating a vivid picture of his work.  In episode 3, writer Lisa Holdsworth builds the bulk of the story out of the seven short pages of Chapter 5, and only makes additions that either raise the stakes or enhance character development. 

While the horse in the book is both beloved and valuable, tension is added in the episode by also making the stallion a racehorse. Unnamed in the book, the horse is called Andante here, and is the also the favorite to win the upcoming Darrowby Classic. Every local at the pub has put their money on it. Everyone, that is, except Tristan Farnon (Callum Woodhouse). Seigfried's brother finds himself in a bit of a tight spot, having accidentally spent the payments he was supposed to have collected from the local farmers. Seizing rather questionably upon the not-yet-public news of Andante's death, Tristan puts what's left of his money on the second favorite, ultimately recouping his losses. By making Andante a racehorse, James and Tristan's storylines can be woven together. Plus, we get the chance to see another little scheme of Tristan's. While not drawn directly from the pages of the book, it's behavior consistent with the character the reader meets there. 

The postmortem examination looms over Herriot for the second half of the episode. Confident as he was in his diagnosis, television James second guesses himself in the face of angry and litigious stable owner Hugh Hulton. Book James has no such reconsiderations; the postmortem is standard, expected, and comes and goes within a few paragraphs. By letting the viewer live in Herriot's fears for the night, awaiting confirmation of his decision, the stakes are raised. Strangely, we viewers find ourselves relieved to ultimately find out that the horse was, in fact, dying at the start of the episode.

The farmer at James's next appointment rather distressingly refers to him as "horse killer." This and other contemptuous reactions from the Darrowby locals are not found in the book, but are believable. In both book and adaptation, the young vet faces an uphill battle toward acceptance in the community. In "Andante," Herriot's newfound reputation gives Siegfried (Samuel West) an opportunity to defend his assistant. Here, Siegfried is offered the position of veterinarian at the Darrowby racetrack, if he fires James. But Siegfried defends James. Perhaps more importantly, he defends James's veterinary philosophy. "Yesterday, you agreed the welfare of the animal came first. Today, it seems that's not the case," he tells the racetrack manager. The reader comes to know Siegfried as a soft-hearted, if a bit irascible, man. The episode allows the viewer to see that as well. 

Turning the short chapters of a long book into one-hour episodes of television cannot be an easy task. This is not the first adaptation of All Creatures Great and Small, but it is a successful one. This is because the writers understand the source material; while the stories are embellished, the setting and characters are true to their inspirations. Furthermore, those embellishments only serve to enhance the stories, adding the tension necessitated by the medium. 

Superstore: "Hair Care Products"

When scripted TV returned to production in the midst of COVID-19, writers and showrunners had two choices: continue with their story as if the pandemic never happened, or incorporate it into the plot. I have preferred the former. If ever there was a time for escapist TV, this is it. To say nothing of the ever changing experience of the pandemic. As EW's James Hibberd put it, "Nobody can correctly make an authentic drama about this pandemic right now. It’s been noted many times before that you cannot make a great movie about a war until years after the war has ended.” Can the experience be accurately fictionalized when it has not yet been fully lived?

Mateo and Cheyenne watch the ceremonial
unlocking of the hair care case. 
Source: tvfanatic.com

Superstore opted to try to find out. In the season 6 premiere, the titular Cloud 9 Superstore is facing the same pandemic the viewers are, and the episode drags as a result. The premiere also prolonged the exit of series lead America Ferrera, a departure which would have been tidier as the season 5 finale. By its title, the second episode of season 6 is actually the second half of the season 5 finale, but the COVID-themed opener "Essential" interrupted the two. In these first few episodes, there are jokes about mask wearing and about who might be contagious, but nothing about it feels unique to the show or even relatable to the viewer, despite the similarity to our own lives. Maybe it's because we've heard those jokes. We've made these jokes. The show is just slapping a mask on a cardboard cutout mascot. 

So imagine my surprise when the fifth episode of the season, "Hair Care Products" finally delivers a snapshot of COVID that feels true to life with a punchline that's true to the show. The B plot of the episode sees Cheyenne (Nichole Sakura) and Mateo (Nico Santos), the break room's popular crowd, decide to do something "so nice" for the less popular Sandra (Kaliko Kauahi) and invite her to their upcoming movie night. Sandra politely declines. When pressed, she reveals she's not comfortable with Mateo and Cheyenne's loose adherence to COVID guidelines. It feels like a real conversation. Heck, you've probably been on one side or the other of that same conversation. But unlike earlier jokes in the season where the punchline was just, "Oh no! He's contagious," the humor here is in watching Mateo and Cheyenne bend over backward to accommodate the one person they didn't intend to invite in the first place.

Earlier seasons of the show tackled timely and heavy topics like parental leave, PTSD, and even an ICE raid. It comes as no surprise that they'd try to tackle COVID. The pandemic isn't even the heaviest or timeliest topic in this episode. The A plot sees Garrett (Colton Dunn) begrudgingly lead the employees in developing anti-racist policy suggestions for corporate. And if that feels like way too big a task for a single retail store to handle, it's because it is. And fortunately, Superstore knows that. When corporate decides to reverse the policy on keeping Black hair care products in a locked cabinet, white characters' responses are mostly tone deaf. Meanwhile, Garrett is eager to point out the puniness of the change, but is frustrated when asked to speak and lead on behalf of all Black people. "It's not my job to call out every racist thing I come up against," he says. "It's my job to announce sales and pretend not to notice when people return used swimsuits." 

I'm glad to see that Superstore is back to its solid formula of addressing real world issues in their own little big box store, with their signature character-based humor. If the rest of Season 6 proceeds like this, I'll keep tuning in.

TV Songs for your Workout Playlist

I don't like working out. In fact, I'm lucky if I get to the gym once a week (ok, fine! - once a month.) But the unbearable pain of attaining your beach body is made a little bit easier if there's something good on TV, or a good song in your earbuds. Why not enjoy both? Here are five television songs from my workout playlist that just might keep you on that treadmill.

---

"Let Me Be Your Star" - Smash

 

"The past is on the cutting room floor; the future is here with me."

Perfect if... your workout is a performance for the mirror on the wall at the gym.
Play it... during your warmup.

Purchase it:

---

"I Could If I Wanted To" - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

"Throwing a ball like it’s sooo important to know how to throw a ball. Whoopty-fricking-do."

Perfect if... you hate working out.
Play it... during that third set of angry, angsty crunches.

Purchase it:

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"Don't Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet" - Nashville

"I got a whole lot more than a little bit left"

Perfect if... you wanna quit, but know you'll feel better if you don't.
Play it... during those last few miles before the cool down.

Purchase it:

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"Aces High" - Empire

"No cameras please, I'm in my zone."

Perfect if... the gym is your zone.

Play it... during whatever part of your workout makes you feel amazing. 

Purchase it: 

---

"Who Are You" - CSI

"I remember throwing punches around and preaching from my chair"

Ok, so this isn't really a TV song. It's just been co-opted as a TV theme song. But every workout playlist needs some Who, so put this song on yours.

Purchase it:

Riverdale: "Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!"

It took me half a dozen episodes to realize I was completely hooked on Riverdale. Apparently, that's how many episodes it took a lot of people, because this week the series was officially renewed for a second season.

Jughead and Betty are on the case.
Source: imdb.com

This mid-season addition to the CW's lineup could have gone either way. It's got a relatively unknown cast who are, in the words of a friend of mine "really attractive, even by CW standards." They are also more than their pretty faces. Early press claimed the Archie Comics adaptation would be a dark Twin Peaks for the younger set. So far, the only resemblance to the Lynch creation is Mädchen Amick, who plays Betty's mother, and was a waitress at the Double R Diner. No, if anything, Riverdale is reminiscent of a show that originally aired on the network's predecessor, UPN. In "Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!" we find Betty Cooper acting like Veronica - Veronica Mars, that is.

This comparison to the teen noir detective show Veronica Mars is apt because, like that series, Riverdale hinges on the murder of a high school student in a small town. (To be fair, so does Twin Peaks, but Riverdale lacks that show's absurdist elements.) The comics' Archie-Betty-Veronica love triangle rightfully gets put on the shelf in the series' first few episodes. Instead, the town and its teens are focused on solving the crime and regaining the innocence they lost. In "Faster, Pussycats," Betty (Lili Reinhart) is working for the Riverdale High School newspaper, and has begun to look for answers, not only to the question "Who Killed Jason Blossom?" but to the question of what happened to Betty's sister Polly. Polly had planned to run away with Jason on the day he was killed. In this episode, we learn that Polly is pregnant! I shouldn't have been surprised, but, like Betty, I was misdirected by Mr. and Mrs. Cooper's assurances that Polly was, well, crazy.  Betty tracks down her sister at a "home for troubled youth" and, following Polly's tip, finds a hidden getaway car. The pace of this part of the story is steady. The colors are muted. The sky is gray. There's fog in the air. Everything indicates mystery. A dark, rainy trip in the woods is enhanced by the minor chords of the Pussycats' variety show performance.

Betty has a partner in all this sleuthing. At the end of "Chapter Four: The Last Picture Show," when it was revealed that the show's narrator, Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse), lives an essentially homeless life, I realized Archie's best pal was going to be the most interesting character in the series. His somewhat anti-canonical yet completely natural romance with Betty Cooper, sealed with a kiss in the sixth episode, also sealed his place as a lead. (And if the episode 7 promos are to be believed, his story is just beginning.) Though he began as a child actor, Sprouse's abilities shouldn't be underestimated. He fills the pauses as deftly as he delivers the lines.

Archie just wants to play his music, Dad.
Source: imdb.com

Riverdale knows its audience and its network, employing well-worn teen drama tropes. As a high school student newspaper reporter, Betty sleuths out real life crime, reminiscent not only of Veronica Mars, but also of the early seasons of Smallville. Archie Andrews (K.J. Apa), on the other hand, is the typical angsty teenage boy who can't decide between writing guitar ballads and playing on the football team. Unfortunately, this trope is applied less convincingly, and all I can do is roll my eyes at the red-headed leading man. That said, Apa does have a lovely tenor voice. Earlier in the season, Archie's story was headed in a different direction. He was revealed to be intimately involved with his music teacher. At this point I must note that teacher/student relationships are real life crimes and tragedies that are too often, unfortunately, romanticized on the small screen. [See also: Dawson's Creek.]

Meanwhile, the teens' parents are dramatically interconnected. High school drama seems to have followed them into adulthood. Thus, we find Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) devastated at the prospect of her mother cheating on her father with Fred Andrews. As Alice Cooper, Mädchen Amick masterfully depicts the madness of a mother bent on justice, or maybe just revenge. Then there's another whole plot with Josie's demanding father and politically corrupt mother. So is one of these crazy parents to blame for Jason's death? Betty certainly thinks so, and confronts her father with that accusation. But is it all a red herring? In Veronica Mars, it turned out that a parent was the villain. In Riverdale, I'm not so sure. I suspect the music teacher may come back to town just when we've almost forgotten her. I don't know! And it's precisely because the show keeps me guessing that I keep coming back to watch what happens next. And now, I'll get to see what happens all the way through Season 2.

Riverdale airs Thursday nights at 9 PM on The CW.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: "Can Josh Take a Leap of Faith?"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend suffered a sophomore slump, no doubt the result of Santino Fontana's untimely exit. Greg was just gearing up to have the best character arc of the season. Then, without so much as choreography, he left West Covina, and Rebecca, behind. The official word is that Fontana had only signed on for one season, and had never planned to stay, but his alcoholism storyline and setup to be the guy Rebecca's actually "meant for" makes me think there may have been more going on behind the scenes.

Here's my wild theory/the way I would have done it: I expect the final escalator goodbye was the planned Season 2 finale - the climax of incredible positive growth and change in Greg. He was, after all the character that didn't fit in with the rest, whose dreams were always bigger than that town three short hours from the beach. His exit was inevitable, but it happened too soon. For me, Season 2 felt like two seasons smashed together - One where we see Greg grow and move on, finally acknowledging that Rebecca was no good for him; and one where Rebecca, in the wake of that heartache runs back to Josh again, only to be stymied by the hot new boss in the office. Neither of those storylines got the time they deserved.

Rebecca has a "dissociative episode." Josh has cold feet.
Source: tvline.com

The fact that the show's reinvigoration coincided with the introduction of a new male love interest is not lost on me. Nor is the irony that a show that started out so fiercely, satirically feminist got its boost from a man. Nonetheless, Scott Michael Foster's Nathaniel has brought a rude, pretentious frat boy energy that the show hadn't seen yet (except perhaps from Audra Levine) and that made him a worthy match for Bloom's strong Rebecca. Then, at the end of the two final episodes of Season 2, he showed a softer side by finding, and subsequently lambasting, Rebecca's absent father. Speaking of her father, Rebecca's daddy issues culminated painfully in the finale, ensuring that every viewer knew precisely who damaged this now-crazy ex. I expect most of us were screaming at our TVs along with Dr. Akopian.

The other important man in the finale was... Robert? Honestly, "who the dickens is Robert?" On the one hand, yes, there is a HUGE gap between the 16-year old drama camp Rebecca we're introduced to in the show's first scene and accomplished lawyer Rebecca who leaves New York on a whim. And sure, I guess it always was a little odd that Harvard obsessed Rebecca went to Yale Law. But this Robert thing came out of nowhere for me. (And for Heather, too.) I'm still not sure it works. Additional dim-lit flashbacks to college days and time spent in a sanitarium in episodes to come may help fill in the blanks. After all, the flashbacks shed a dark light on the delusional lyrics of the Season 2 opening theme.

The reintroduction of Trent was fun, and I can't get enough of his devious smile, but his "Top Secret" envelope was the gun that wasn't fired. Even if Rebecca's past indiscretions aren't what sent Josh running to the priesthood, the grand reveal of those dark memories needs to make an appearance in a future episode (and not just a dissociative one.)

Josh's new career choice? A brilliant turn. The character of Josh Chan has always been the perfect combination of idealistic, impetuous, and dim - three traits that in combination could make any groom join the priesthood on his wedding day.

#squadgoals
Source: tvfanatic.com

The best thing Season 2 gave us (besides some great new songs) is one heck of a girl squad. Their bond may have been forced at first, but now they are a force to be reckoned with. Valencia was totally in her element in all that hands-free-walkie-talkie wedding planner glory. Vella Lovell's impeccable comedic timing makes every one of Heather's one-liners a monotone mic drop. And you know who's always been a little crazy? Paula. Season 2 made her sensible, and that allowed Donna Lynne Champlin to show some incredible range, but I'm ready to see Paula's stalker side again in Season 3.

So, we've seen the kind of crazy ex-girlfriend who moves across the country for a man who's dating someone else. We've seen the kind of girl-in-love who plans a wedding in two weeks so her man won't leave and she won't cheat. Next, I guess, we'll see new kind of crazy ex. The kind who sets things on fire. I'll watch that.

What's with All these Time Travel Shows?

Sometimes, one hit television show will set off a series of copycats (the way that the 1960s vibe of Mad Men was co-opted rather unsuccessfully by shows like Pan Am and The Playboy Club.) Other times, for whatever reason, multiple creators/showrunners seem to simultaneously have the same idea.  It happened in 2005, when all three broadcast networks debuted shows centered around unidentified water-based monsters, all with forgettable one-word titles (Surface, Invasion, and Threshold).  Right now, The Crown is on everyone's Netflix binge list. Meanwhile, for those who want to hearken a little further back in British history, PBS premiered Victoria this past weekend on Masterpiece. 

The phenomenon is also currently happening with time travel - across the networks and on cable. Two such shows premiered this past fall - Frequency on the CW and Timeless on NBC. I watched the pilot episode of each, but neither made it to my weekly watch list. Here's why not:

Timeless - NBC

Timeless was up first on NBC. The episode was a composite of potential good ideas, but felt more like a first draft than a polished pilot. A band of heroes that we're supposed to believe are "unlikely" (though they seem pretty textbook to me) are tasked with traveling through time to save the past as we know it from a nefarious villain with unclear intentions.

The first seven minutes offered the audience the start of three plot lines and no discernible foundation. Failing to establish their credibility, the show gave us no reason to trust the characters. The editing was odd, and the show leaned the action sequences to hold together a flimsy and incoherent plot.

And speaking of incoherent, Timeless does little to address the philosophy of time travel to which it holds. Everyone seems to gloss over the massive shock that the existence of time travel ought to be. Usually at the prospect of time travel, people are incredulous. We're offered flimsy lines of protest: "Why would you be stupid enough to invent something so dangerous?" Damn good question. On the one hand, the show seems to hold to the "No Do-overs" rule. Yet, the whole plot is based on the proposition that the past can be altered and that it's the job of this band of heroes to protect the historic timeline as we know it.

On the whole, the writing was simplistic, with lines like, "Oh, the humanity!" "Make your own future" Lucy's sister tells her. Ugh. To which I reply - "Oh, the cliches!"

The highlight of this episode for me was Malcolm Barrett - glad to see him again after his run in the short-lived Better Off Ted. His lines like, "The future is not on your side - boy!" were brilliantly delivered.

I was not at all a fan of the show's use of "Wish You Were Here" at the conclusion of the episode. It was a weird cover, and if you're going to use a song by Pink Floyd, why not... "Time?"

Timeless is about the big picture - significant historic events. Frequency deals with a much smaller world with more personal consequences. And chose better music for its soundtrack.

Frequency - The CW

Frequency won major points as soon as they selected Wonderwall as the song that would indicate we were "back in time." (Side note: "Wonderwall" came out in 1995?!) The show is a remake (I gather) of the movie of the same name. I haven't seen the film, so it was all new to me. Here's the gist: New York cop discovers that she can communicate across time with her long-dead father through his ham radio.

I was pleasantly surprised by Peyton List, whom I'd only seen before as Jane in Mad Men, and Raimy is quite a change of pace from the one-time Mrs. Sterling. (Tough and Sincere instead of Fragile and Manipulative.)

Raimy really plays it fast and loose with the standard rules of time travel - i.e., Don't Tell Someone the Day They Will Die. The show sometimes seems to subscribe to the "The universe corrects itself" theory. In other ways, changing the future seems to be possible.

I'm not confident Frequency will maintain a consistent mythology or rules of the time travel, or that the show has an endgame in mind. But I sure like its premise. If Frequency manages to get a second season (which it may - this is The CW after all), I might just make time to catch up before that fall premiere.

Time After Time - ABC

ABC will be the third of the broadcast networks to the time travel TV show game this season, with Freddie Stroma as a time traveling H.G. Wells.

So there you have it. Three new shows each with a new angle on an well-worn concept. The first was set up to be a Time-Traveling Action/Adventure, the second to be a Time-Traveling Police Procedural. Yet to air Time After Time is poised to be a Time-Traveling Action/Adventure Police Procedural...Historical Romance? Still, I doubt that magic combination will save it. (Although its premiere slot next to Once Upon A Time might.) It's my prediction that these three shows will go the way of Surface, Invasion, and Threshold - one season, and less than wonderful.

Five Christmas TV Episodes You Should Stream Today

The Office - "Dwight Christmas"

Source: imdb.com

I'm nearing the end of my latest watch-through of The Office, one of my all time favorite shows, and I've been reminded of just how phenomenal the final season is. Season 9's holiday episode, "Dwight Christmas" brings that signature Office blend of painful comedy and heart. Plus, it teaches the viewer about German Christmas traditions. A winner all around.

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The West Wing - "In Excelsis Deo"

Source: buzzfeed.com

If a heavy and melancholy Christmas episode is more your speed this year, I recommend "In Excelsis Deo," the tenth episode of Season 1 of The West Wing. Richard Schiff delivers a masterful performance in this episode in which Toby makes it his mission to secure a proper funeral for a homeless veteran. The episode is powerful and so meaningful to Schiff that he got choked up when discussing it on The West Wing Weekly podcast. Oh, and it won two Emmys.

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Friends - "The One with the Inappropriate Sister"

Sure, you could watch "The One with the Holiday Armadillo," but my pick for a Friends episode worthy of your time this year is "The One with the Inappropriate Sister," solely for the holiday-themed Phoebe storyline. My love for Lisa Kudrow and her portrayal of Phoebe Buffay may cloud my judgement, but the character's devotion to her charity-bucket-bellringer duties cracks me up like nothing else.

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Scrubs - "My Own Personal Jesus"

Source: scrubs.wikia.com

Scrubs is a show that manages to be utterly funny and unexpectedly heartwarming at the same time. In "My Own Personal Jesus," Turk's devotion to hope and belief in miracles in what seem like the gloomiest circumstances make it the perfect episode if you need an emotional lift this Christmas.

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Miranda - "The Perfect Christmas"

Source: bbc.co.uk

After getting lost innumerable times in the YouTube black hole of British panel shows, I knew I needed more Miranda Hart in my life. So I binged my way through her self-titled and quasi-autobiographical show Miranda and can I just say - SUCH FUN! If you're a Miranda fan, today is the day to re-watch "The Perfect Christmas." If you haven't discovered this gem of a show yet, I think you'll still relate to Miranda's hatred of forced family Christmas traditions, instinct to hide from carol singers, and frustration with online purchases failing to arrive.

Survivor: "I Will Destroy You"

I reject the idea that "generations" can be categorized, labeled, or otherwise divided and classified in any real way. I find the articles and studies that aim and claim to do so belabored and flimsy, even by the already squishy social science standards. To make matters worse, almost every article you read on the subject is laden with bias - usually either derision or defensiveness. So when I heard that the upcoming season of Survivor would pit "Millennials" against "Generation X," I was less than enthused. (Clearly, CBS thinks this premise is a real hit or they wouldn't have also premiered The Great Indoors this year.)

As long as we're stereotyping, I guess these are the two generations to pit against one another, if you have to pick two. You have to have the millennials in there (for the buzzword), and millennials and boomers are really cut from the same cloth. I mean, this song could just as easily be our anthem as theirs. (Oh yeah, I'm a millennial. Did I mention that?)

The generational splits in this game have proven to be far less important than CBS had no doubt hoped. In none of the tribal councils after the tribe swap did the majority generation stick together. Now, I haven't kept Survivor statistic spreadsheets, but as I remember it, that's unusual. And it means that these generational tribes were even less reliable an indicator of unity than tribes of random, unrelated strangers. Which brings me to my main point: This season of Survivor, meant to be an exciting cultural battle between the young and the slightly older (Or, as CBS liked to swing it, the lazy and the hardworking), has quite possibly achieved the opposite of its goal. Instead of proving how distinct these so-called generations are, the show has demonstrated how people are people. No matter their age, you'll find the same weaknesses (arrogance, overconfidence, anxiety) and the same strengths (empathy, loyalty, strategic smarts) within a tribe of five, eight or ten. Those traits will play out in the same unexpected, if predictable in hindsight, ways throughout a season of Survivor. Which makes Jeff Probst's attempts to highlight the generational differences adorably out of touch. (He thinks we still write "u" for "you" when texting! He's such a Gen-Xer!) (←That's a joke, obviously.)

So yeah, I balked at the premise of this season, but then something weird happened. This season became GREAT. There's this cast of interesting, strategic players, many of whom are exceedingly likable. There are interesting home stories, especially for the millennials. There was an ill-advised power coupling that went down in flames. Exciting challenges, fun twists, and oh-so-many hidden immunity idols.

The Takali tribe surprised the rest when they returned from Tribal Council sans Figgy.
Source: cbs.com

Take tonight's episode for example: Despite it's ominous title, "I Will Destroy You" was a lot of fun. Unexpected comebacks made both the Reward Challenge and the Immunity Challenge exciting. Michaela proved to be a challenge beast once again, which, combined with her football coach-esque plan for the remainder of the game which she all too readily shared with her tribemates, proved that she was entirely too strong to keep around.

Hannah brought the social game, if only briefly, when she identified Bret's ridiculous and shady occupational lie. Identity lies are about as old as the game itself, and they almost never work. But they sure are fun to watch play out. It almost makes me glad that Bret is still in the game, because I want to see what happens when the truth about his lie is revealed.

Jay made the most strategic move of the game so far. And OWNED it! Michaela was right - you want to go to Tribal Council. It is the way to get ahead in the game. You know who took that advice to heart? Jay. His move wasn't a paranoid one; it was a brilliant one that he made in the nick of time. By the next episode, the tribes will merge. Had Michaela been around, she would have dominated the individual game from that point forward. Jay smartly realized that he's got plenty of followers in the Millennial tribe. What he didn't need was another leader. Michaela was that leader that he had to take out. Plus, she knew about his idol. She was much too big a threat. Now, what Jay doesn't realize is that Adam has been making some big moves of his own and has been making ties with the Gen-Xers. See? So many moving pieces! So many clever players! I have no idea where this game will go next and that's what makes it great. CBS might think Survivor needs a gimmick to get us to watch, but all we need to keep us watching is the game itself.

No Tomorrow: "Pilot"

No Tomorrow had me intrigued from first look. When ads began billing the show as "From the network that brought you Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Jane the Virgin", I knew I had to give it a try. Those are two of the best shows on network TV right now, and no matter what stereotypical prejudice you may have against the CW, you should check them out. (They're award winning, guys.)

When I sat down to watch the Pilot, the question was: would No Tomorrow deliver on its promise to be another CW show I'd enjoy? For me, the answer was a resounding: Maybe. Here's the premise: A Type-A type woman meets a uninhibited and possibly insane man who thinks the world is going to end in eight months and lives his life accordingly. Naturally, I have a few questions.

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Are the characters likable?
Like, Crazy-Ex and Jane, No Tomorrow banks on a relatively unknown cast. Ok, Joshua Sasse was Galavant, but with a shaved head and that beard, did you recognize him at first glance? Me either. Tori Anderson, who plays Evie, hails from Canada and, apparently, teen nick.

Evie meets Xavier at the Farmers' Market.
(Revealing the show's hipster/millennial target audience.)
Source: imdb.com

If we have any question about who Evie is, it's answered by Kareema: "Just don't be one of those women defined by the quest to find the guy." Ah, so she's a hopeless romantic. This is a step in the right direction. It gives the character a subtle sweetness that belies her model appearance. Each line and look makes her ever more the ingenue. Evie forgoes even the mildest profanity and instead says, "Oh my gosh" and "Holy smokes." Her apocalypse "list" contains mild ambitions like putting tinfoil in the microwave. Yes, I like Evie. But what about her leading man?

It takes a little longer to figure Xavier out. Sure, he may look like a charming ladies-man-hipster-player, but it turns out he's a poser. This is revealed not only in the flashback of his former life sitting in a cubicle, but also his internet fame as "Doomsday Man." And more importantly, he's probably out of his mind. And a little stalker-ish there with his telescope.

Furthermore, starting them out with infidelity (or whatever you call cheating when you're on a break) isn't the most likable move. But Evie redeems herself at least a little by confessing her indiscretion to potential fiancé Timothy. So while I like Evie, and can sympathize with her struggles, Xavier is going to have to work a little harder to win me over.

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Does this show know what it wants to be? Even if what it wants to be is weird?
This is something I bring up a lot in my reviews, because I think it really matters: Good television shows are self-aware. Though made up of many characters, the world they inhabit must have a distinct sense of humor, or in the case of a drama, a distinct mood. Characters can be dynamic, but they cannot be unbelievable. That's not to say that shows can't surprise us; instead, such surprises must add depth to what we already know about a show - not discredit the show's very premise.

Again, like its sister shows, No Tomorrow isn't a drama or a comedy. It's also not a comedy with heart or a funny drama. It's both and it's neither. It's weird. And some of its characters are really weird, particularly the side characters. Evie effectively plays the straight man both to Xavier's unpredictability and her co-workers standard comedic odd-ball-ness. In fact, the side characters are so much fun, there is a chance they'll outshine Evie.

The most difficult line that No Tomorrow will have to walk is balancing the quirk with the sincerity. Walking that line is possible. Other hour-long so-called "comedies" have done this successfully. Pushing Daisies used bright colors, sweeping camera entrances, and retro-like transitions between scenes to develop a distinctive "storybook" look. Crazy-Ex does it by pairing their stories with song. Toward the end of the pilot of No Tomorrow, when Evie is confronting her bad-breathed boss Deirdre, the camera pushes in on the two of them in incremental jerks as Deirdre breathes right in Evie's face. I thought this was clever, but it caught me off guard. Is the show aiming to make its camerawork distinctive? If so, I'm all for it. I think it matches the mood of the show - but, we'll need more of it. Otherwise, it will just seem out of place. No Tomorrow must embrace its own brand of weird.

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Is the premise sustainable?
Should Xavier turn out to be correct, this show has only got an eight month shelf-life. (If they make it that far - A to Z only made it to M.) The last show about the end of the world got us to doomsday just in time to break my heart. (I still get chills thinking about the You, Me, and the Apocalypse finale - and not good chills. Not getting a second season for that one hurts).

Maybe it's more like My Name is Earl - each episode will send our heros on a wild quest to fulfil an item on their list. That show managed to eek out four seasons (although I didn't make it past Season 3 when I binged my way through on Netflix.) A procedural format might serve this show well, as long as the characters can grow and remain interesting throughout.

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No Tomorrow debuted to less than great ratings. Some critics already list it among the doomed.  I'm not so sure. The CW has a willingness to bet on weird shows that they know are good. In an unprecedented move last spring, they renewed everything. I have a theory: the network knows that they can't compete with the other major broadcast networks for quantity of viewers. Where they can beat them is quality. The leading ladies of Jane and Crazy-Ex each have a Golden Globe to their name. Will Anderson follow? I don't know yet, but I'm willing to keep watching to find out.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: "Coral Palms, Part 3"

Since the beginning, Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been a solid comedy. Last season, the show had a lot of work to do to keep its central will-they-or-won't-they couple Jake and Amy interesting after they, well, did. All while maintaining the show's slapstick wit and giving the rest of the ensemble cast enough to do.

The gang is back together!
Source: imdb.com

Throughout Season 3, creative obstacles were devised to sidetrack Jake (Andy Samberg) and Amy's (Melissa Fumero) budding romance, but none so extreme as the finale - which landed both Jake and Andre Braugher's Captain Holt in witness protection in Florida. This is where Season 4 picked up, with a three-part episode titled "Coral Palms." Part 3 aired this week, and it was a doozy.

A clever cold open spoofed a local news report (the sort of classic Michael Schur touch Parks and Rec fans will spot.) The ensemble shines brightest when on a mission, and by Part 3, the squad was together again at last, and they were more than ready to take down the head of a crime syndicate. Jim O'Heir's guest appearance as a local sheriff was a welcome surprise in Part 2, and I was glad to see him again. Against the backdrop of an Arcade/Go-Kart Course, the members of the precinct successfully battle the bad guys, even if both Holt and Jake are rather seriously injured in the process.

Clever writing is another of the show's strengths. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is seldom blatantly political. (It wouldn't want to alienate its audience in an election year.) But it does wink (or at least blink while staring blankly) at political issues. In "Coral Palms," nods to the ubiquity of guns, like Gina's line about where she got hers - "Vending machine at a rest stop" - are either subtle critiques of gun laws, or at least easy punchlines about Florida. Then there was Jake's great one-liner: "Something about lead being in the air and water and ground." Acerbically timely, no?

Not exactly love at first reunion.
Source: imdb.com

Part 3 also saw Jake and Amy struggling to get back into the swing of being together, and by the end of the episode, they claimed to be in sync again. Still, I can't help feeling that this episode would have worked better as a set up to a break up. Jake and Amy just aren't working. Lately, when Boyle interrupts them, it doesn't seem like he's interrupting anything at all. I can't pinpoint if it's the fault of the writing, the acting, or the directing, but I don't buy that the two of them are in love. The cliche of breaking them up to renew the romantic tension might be the show's best bet. This strategy seems to be working for New Girl's Nick and Jess, another couple who didn't shine as brightly together as they do when you so desperately want them to be together. Alternatively, the writers could give Jake and Amy a realistic couple problem (other than a lumpy mattress or six months in witness protection.) That worked for Jim and Pam, who were great when they were doing well, but even more heartwarming when they overcame authentic relationship adversity. When Jake and Amy were pining for one another, the tension led to some of the show's greatest moments of sincerity.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine needs that sincerity to sustain the workaday episodes of this workplace comedy. If not with Jake and Amy, perhaps another office romance? Speaking of which, whatever happened to the unrequited love Charles had for Rosa? That thread was still strong at the end of Season 2, when Charles designed a perfect birthday dinner for Rosa's then-boyfriend to present to her. If that's not selfless love, I don't know what is. But somewhere in Season 3, Charles went from being a bumbling buffoon with a heart of gold to being a bumbling buffoon utterly clueless to the ways of the heart. I'd like the old Charles back, especially if that meant Rosa would get him back, too. All in all, "Coral Palms" was good, but Brooklyn Nine-Nine can do better.

New Girl: "Wedding Eve"

This summer as always, in addition to the second-rate series that aren't worth our time (and a few great ones that totally are), the networks have been airing reruns of last season to prep us for the fall premieres. That means over the last few Tuesdays I've been reminded of how quietly phenomenal Season 5 of New Girl was.

Jess in the Jury Box.
Source: imdb.com

For a half dozen episodes, the show was without its lead; Zooey Deschanel was on maternity leave, which meant Jessica Day was a sequestered juror. Couple Deschanel's temporary exit with Megan Fox's entrance as a recurring guest star and it's easy to imagine this season going very, very badly. Clickbait headlines even suggested that Fox was replacing Deschanel (as if anyone could). But that didn't happen, and the season didn't tank. Instead, Season 5 was kind of fantastic. Fox's Reagan was a skillfully crafted character, distinct enough from Jess that a comparison isn't fair. Sure, she lived in Jess's room and Nick fell head over feet for her, but she endeared herself to us in her own cold, distant way.

When Jess returned, the hijinks amped up again. While following her ex-boyfriend Sam, Jess found herself in the bed of his truck - as it went through a car wash. After a series of escalating dares, er, pranks, Winston got married. (!!) With "A Chill Day In" and "Road Trip," we got two of the most fun episodes of the season, which cover the same period of time as the group celebrates Cece's bachelorette and Schmidt's bachelor parties.

The gang commences a game of True American.
Source: newgirl.wikia.com

This brings us to "Wedding Eve," Season 5's penultimate episode, and a brilliant encapsulation of everything New Girl does best: physical comedy, classic sitcom misunderstandings, and love. Also, of course, True American - the show's invented drinking game. True American allows the small ensemble to stretch their physical comedy muscles.  It's also generally used as a device to get two characters in the same space - under a table, on top of a single chair, or "behind the iron curtain." In this episode, the game got Jess together with Sam, whom she'd been avoiding since she found a diamond ring in his jacket and feared he would propose. He wasn't going to, of course. Tell me you didn't realize as soon as I did that Sam was meant to be with Diane?

But between the pratfalls and wordplay, New Girl is a love story. This season, it was mostly Schmidt and Cece's love story, and as the credits rolled on "Wedding Eve," Schmidt left in the dark of night, not as a runaway groom, but in a grand gesture of love. Season 5 also gave us a delightful love storyline for Winston. Lamorne Morris is the unsung hero of the show when it comes to comic timing, and despite the wacky marriage sidetrack, he and his cop partner/new girlfriend Aly shared a sweet "I love you" in this episode. (Which was immediately followed by some food poisoning induced retching because this is still a comedy after all.)

Mostly, though, I think New Girl is the long, slow, beautiful love story of the title character. And just in case we forgot who else's love story it is, Sam was there to give Jess this reminder:

New Girl returns tomorrow night, September 20, at 8:30 on FOX.

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